Small knot / I have another knot in my handkerchief.
A little knot that pulls itself together, pulls itself tight. He folds his hands, his legs, into each other. Intertwines his fingers and his arms and tangles his hair into a thousand knots. A small knot swallows itself down. Even that little sip becomes a knot. slurp slurp, knotted is the gulp.
A little knot that sometimes feels way too big is in my throat, sometimes in my stomach, sometimes in hug with an old friend. The knot is everywhere in my knotted body. Also, my head is one untieable knot.
Who speaks to this knot? How does this knot speak? How does this knot knot? How can I speak to this knot when I myself have a knot in my tongue?
The little knot keeps tying itself in knots, with veins, organs, muscles and thoughts. The knot makes it so hard for me to untie myself. Makes it hard to feel neat. That way I can never become a string instrument, no bass, no guitar and no violin, if I always stay tangled up in knots.
Nor will I ever find a sailor who can understand this knot. The knot takes up its thread again all by itself and looks for the end which it can loop around again. It keeps knotting itself together, as if my knot were actually another body. As if the knot wanted to tell me something, wanted to knot something inside me. But some knots shouldn't be cut like the Gordian knot. Some knots need to stay knotted.
Sometimes Mrs. T. asks how does this knot feel like?Who speaks to this knot? How does this knot speak? How does this knot knot? How can I speak to this knot when I myself have a knot in my tongue? Or do I find myself in a series of knots? Am I myself just a A series of knots, all tangled so differently that we can't untie each other? Or are we all knitted the same way?
The little knot, meanwhile, continues to slurp itself down, slurping and slurping and slurping, as if it were actually just a slurp.
Does a knot hold something together or does it force something to stay together? Does a knot complicate the fluent transition from one to the other or does it create chapters?
A knot either holds two or more strings together, or is a twist in only one. The one is full of tension, an area of embraces, rearrangements, and of much conflict. Uncountable amounts of knots create a surface, a landscape, full of microscopical motions. A surface consisting of moments of affection.
The other, the rather interesting one, as it only holds itself. Makes a simple line, a simple string, becomes an individual figure. A figure of mystery, where does this knot come from? When was it made, and how? Like an object of forgotten memory, this one knot is not without purpose… it wants to be opened.
How does one knot become a series of knots? From one knot, knots are tied to create further knots.
Every knot depends onto the perfection and performance of the other. Each twist or even shift of two threads is essential for the stability of a fabric. If a thread is loosened, the fabric unravels, ribbons, fringes and eventually separates.
Where am I in this fabric? Where can I put my fingers through and extend them, pull and overstretch them? Which knots are so loose that I can plug them out? The most stroked, touched or used parts of fabric get thinner, thinner and thinner, until everything depends on to the very last knot.
While the knot is closing something, every knot, even though being close meshed, is still a hole. The yarn creates a hole when trying to close something. Putting the ends together of one yarn, creates an O, a knot is full of O’s. To close something you have to create a hole, an emptiness, a gap, which maybe stays there even when actually being closed.
The knot frames the emptiness.
What a counteractive idea. Counteractive and contradictive, if only the knot could promise to be sealed.
I can feel the air coming through the holes of my clothes all the time when I am on my bike. Twist your arms as if they were threads. Knot them around each other. Where else do you have knots in your body? Why do we say twisted mind? Is the mind maybe not this smooth amorph steam but a long long thread?
TEXT for exhibition at Frappant e.V. Hamburg - Group Exhibition: Bark Beetles